Letting go of expectations

I applied to present at a TedX conference and I didn’t get it.  I’m ok about it (now).  The experience was demystifying, unglamorous and fun.

During the prep, try-out and immediately after, I was a wreck.  I wanted it so bad and I wrung my hands listing all the reasons I would or wouldn’t get it.  I told almost no one so the win or loss would be private until I was ready to share.

And then a few days after the try-out, I let go.  I didn’t lecture myself or beat myself up, I just released the desire into the ether and got back to my life.  When I got the email saying they were sorry, I was disappointed.  But that was all.  And that is huge.

Releasing the desire for a specific outcome is not easy.  It requires the ability to believe in yourself and know that you are enough.  It’s letting go of the need for outside affirmation and going inside for affirmation.  (It’s the opposite of our celebrity culture where the more people who read about your breast implants, the more you feel loved.)

I’ll give you an example. The disconnection of writing a blog is intense.  Put your heart in an article, press a button and a list of people receive it.  It’s hard to know if the content resonates enough for people to take action in their lives and that’s one of the main reasons for my blog, for sure.  I write this blog with the intention of helping people by sharing my experiences.  And so I’ve had to learn to release my desire to know if my writing has had any positive long-term effect.  And it’s been a fantastic experience, this letting go.

The gift of releasing expectations is the deeper gift of loving and believing in myself.  It’s freeing, it’s terrifying and it’s empowering me to be me.  And this has led to me being happier in every aspect of my life.

It’s also been a relief to let go.  I am more present in my life and not living nearly as much in the future, or the past, as I used to.  It’s a release from my controlling tendencies and that is scary and exciting.

I highly recommend going for greatness with all your might!  And then letting go of the result.

Amen.