The Mistreaters Journey

The full moon is in full force this week and people are mistreating others all around.  Here’s the thing about mistreatment:
It’s real.
It’s unnecessary.
And it has little to do with those who are being mistreated.

The Mistreater’s furiously bubbling stew of fears and insecurities are overflowing onto the mistreated.  It’s the Mistreater’s Journey and you happen to be in the path at that moment.

When the boss yells at the employee, chances are astronomically high that the boss is struggling with a fear of being seen as less than powerful, or his job may be on the line, or he may be constipated.  We may never know the real reason for the explosion.  The same is true in family or romantic dynamics. We may never understand why he spoke to you that way or why your brother is cold or why she broke up with no warning.  Or we may one day find out.  We just don’t know right now.

What we do know is that the Mistreater is going through something not-so-fun.  She may appear to be friendly, fun, full of laughter to others, but look into her eyes and see if you can find the truth.  There’s likely a deep sadness.  You may trigger it, who knows why, but that doesn’t make you responsible for it.

Our job is not to help the Mistreater; our job is to find compassion for him even if he treats us like poop.  And find endless compassion for ourselves for being on the receiving end of said poop.

The Mistreaters Journey is a lonely one and it can only be fixed by the Mistreater.  Have you been here?  Do you remember wondering how you could have said that thing; acted that way; walked out at that moment?  We’ve all mistreated and hopefully we’ve all felt bad about it and apologized.  What’s important when you are the Mistreated is to find that shared experience and tap into the feeling you had in your tummy when you did it.  This will be your bridge to compassion for the lover who cheated on you or the sibling who is disrespectful or the colleague who throws you under the bus.

When we find compassion for our offender, we are tapping into our endless capacity for love. It makes the heart fill like the Grinch’s and the anger recedes a bit. It’s a healing poultice.

The anger doesn’t go away, nor should it.  Anger is a healthy emotion and beautifully powerful when used correctly.  It’s appropriate to leave that cheater, limit your exposure to the ice brother, and professionally call out the bus thrower.  Taking action while acknowledging anger and compassion for the offender, and for your beautiful Self, will lead to calm and therefore a happier you.

Get quiet, look inward to that time you hung up on someone.  Feel your shame, then feel the hurt that led you to do it.  Now find compassion for the You at that moment.  Give her a gentle and loving hug.  Thats who your offender is today.