Peace Comes From Knowing

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“Peace comes from knowing the value of what I put into the world, not from waiting for others to understand or act on it.” – Dixie Gillaspie

Do you ever feel like you present great ideas and they get shot down, ignored, eye-rolled or squashed?  And then you feel demotivated to keep trying to be creative, thoughtful and forward-thinking?

Scenario One

Let’s assume you have smart, thoughtful, on-brand ideas that align with the company strategy.  Why do they keep being shot down?  It’s easy to go straight to “why does my boss always shoot ME down?”  Instead of making it personal, consider that it’s most likely your boss’s insecurity.  Here’s the trick to staying sane, feeling a smidge of fulfillment and keeping cool in this scenario:

Acknowledge this dastardly cycle and note when an idea is embraced and when it isn’t.  Be sleuth-like.

  • One friend always presents ideas in such a way that his boss thinks it was her idea.
  • Another friend wonders each morning who will show up today, Jekyll or Hyde?  She chooses to present to Jekyll and not to Hyde, (if she has the choice, that is).
  • Make thoughtful word choices.  Many people have trigger words.  If you pay close attention, you can identify these words and avoid them.

Scenario Two

Maybe your ideas are awesome AND unrealistic financially or in terms of staffing.  Or, maybe you really are presenting off-target ideas.  See if there’s a common thread throughout your ideas.  Be honest with yourself.

  • Even jerks don’t want to keep dissing ideas.  They always want to be right and smarter and the ruler, but they don’t want to keep saying no.  If you are noticing an increase in frustration on the part of your boss, you are most likely repeating a core “wrong” theme throughout your ideas.  Somehow it’s triggering your boss and now she’s in an anticipatory and therefore self-fulfilling cycle.  She’s going to find fault no matter what you present because the core “wrong” thing hasn’t been addressed.
  • Dissect your boss’s reaction.  Words, body language, tone of voice – it’s all data for your investigation.  At what point did the sigh of exasperation occur?  At what sentence did the refusal to hear you out begin?
  • Are you a visionary and your boss isn’t?  That equals a perceived off-target idea.  Perception is reality for us human beings, so if your boss likes things status quo and you keep throwing out evolutionary ideas, you’re now repeatedly off-target.

Here’s the coexisting truth of the matter.  You need to keep your job AND you know the value of what you put into the world regardless of whether your boss understands or acts on it.

Now go dissect this situation, master it and if possible, get a new job where your ideas are valued!

p.s. Dixie Gillaspie is a wonderful business coach.  She has given me gift after gift, including the profound and true quote at the top of this post.  You can find her at http://dixiedynamitecoaching.com/