Don’t bite the hook

There are certain people in our lives who know just how to trigger us. Most likely they’re people we don’t necessarily want to eliminate from our lives, but wow it can be exhausting to get into it with them.

Here’s the trick to not bite that hook. Love yourself as you are.

When that person starts pressing every button and dangling every hook that used to grab you and swing you around, let go and free-fall right into your truth.

My mantra during these moments is this:
When I am triggered, I choose to know my truth over their fear-based accusations and I am happy.

These accusations can be painful and hold some truth, that’s what makes them hurt. But the accusations are more likely about the accuser than you.

An example: I used to hear “you’re too picky” all the time. I took it to heart and beat myself up for not settling for something less than love. Then I realized that (1) I didn’t want to settle for anything less than love and (2) the accusers were afraid for themselves. Rather than support me in my search for love, they had to push me away to protect themselves. So now my mantra can read like this:
When I am triggered (my own fear of never finding love), I choose to know my truth (I am picky; I don’t want to settle for anything less than love) over their fear-based accusations (they’re terrified of being alone) and I am happy (truly!).

Here’s a way to make a cheat sheet for loving yourself. Grab a pen and paper.  Take 30 seconds to list 5 things you like about yourself. Go!

My list:
my sensitivity
my resilience
my strength
my laugh
my compassion
my ability to separate their accusation from my truth
(ok, I have 6.  I really like myself)

Now you have a cheat sheet for the qualities that exist in you that can carry you away from their fear. Once you master this, then you can have compassion for their fear, and compassion for yourself for having to deal with their projections.

Your truth shall set you free from other people’s fear.