Family Day
I have a wish that we not celebrate Father’s (or Mother’s) Day, that we celebrate Family Day or Men We Love Day or Men Who Love Us Day. I know Joyce Hallmark created a day for fathers and mothers, but many families have one or two of each or none of one. I wish to create new celebrations for our kids to follow and call it Women We Love Day or Women Who Love Us Day. I understand there aren’t banners that exist for this, but why not have the kids create the banner that suits the current world? It would be fun!
My best friend is a single mother by choice which means her child does not have a dad. There are kids in his school who have 2 dads. One of my closest friends is divorced from her wife, so her daughter has two moms who don’t live together. My friend is getting divorced and his daughter will live with him, not the mom. My friend is married for the second time and has blended her families, but lives separately part-time from her husband because of the kids’ schools. A good friend of mine has her mom doing the vast majority of the parenting and care giving. Another friend has a live in nanny who is raising the kids almost single-handedly. Another friend and her husband are happily married and raising their kids together. Each of these homes are filled with love. I‘ve seen it with my own eyes and felt it in my heart.
Families have all different shapes and forms and it’s our responsibility to help our kids see this as the norm, because it is. All across our magnificent country. There are so-called traditional families and there are so-called non-traditional families. They’re all wonderful, especially the homes filled with love.
Actual scenario: It’s mother’s day at school. The grandmother is present at the Mothers Day celebration, watching her grandchild sing about his mom and hand the grandmother the card for the Mom as directed by the teacher. OR! The teacher can guide the child to create more than one card, to thoughtfully create cards for all the women who love him and care for him. So Mom, who is working hard at the hospital, is honored, as is the grandmother, nanny, aunt, cousin, neighbor, sister… it’s up to the child to decide which women fill his heart with love.
To clarify. This isn’t about the adult feeling appreciated. This is about the child realizing how many women love and care for him. How beautiful is that.
Here’s how I envision family celebrations in our schools:
Option 1: Call it Family Day and celebrate whatever is your definition of family. Choose your own schedule, not Hallmarks’.
Option 2: Gender specific to somewhat align with Hallmark’s marketing vision, BUT:
Call it Women Who Love Us Day and Men Who Love Us Day. Don’t limit it to mothers or fathers.
Throughout the year, read books about different family structures such as*:
Who’s in a Family? By Robert Skutch, Laura Nienhaus
The Family Book by Todd Parr
Just The Baby For Me by Barbara Levin
All Kinds of Families by Norma Simon (Author), Joe Lasker (Illustrator)
Close to “Father’s Day,” read grandpa and uncle books. The kids do two art projects to be given as gifts to grandpas and uncles.
The idea is to say, more or less: “This week/month, we’ll be celebrating men in our families who are important to us. Who has a grandpa they love a lot? What do you and your grandpa like to do together? Does your grandpa say silly things to you? Now I’m going to read three grandpa books. Now we’re going to make a cute gift-worthy art project. If you have a grandpa, you can make it for him. If you don’t, how about you make it for your dad or your etc.”
The kids will see that a few kids don’t have grandpas and a few do.
Different day: “Today, we’re going to talk about uncles. Who has an uncle they love a lot? What’s your favorite thing to do with your uncle?” (Read books, do cute gift-worthy activity.) “If you have an uncle, you can make this card/picture frame/drawing for him. If you don’t, how about you make it for your (fill in the blank).”
The kids will again see that some kids are missing family members they have, and vice versa. So by the time they make father’s gifts, they know that if you don’t have that someone, you pick someone else.
Interesting approach, yes?
My intention is to have a week that feels inclusive and loving towards all family forms and the different people who care for and love us. I envision children learning to value all the people who care for and love them. I envision children learning to see family as this village of people who care for and love them. I envision children learning to not judge each other by traditional standards, but to see each other with love and compassion.
It’s all about love.
* I chose these books because of my positive experience them. There’s no connection between the authors and me other than my gratitude to them for having written great books.